Overcoming Envy And Jealousy

Overcoming envy and jealousy is a crying need for good natured people, because they feel ashamed of those emotions. Jealousy clearly differs from envy. Jealousy originates from fear or anger over the prospect of failure in achieving a desired goal. Career growth, a partner's love, or a mother's undivided attention are usually the threatened goals. Envy originates from regret, leading to anger, over one's powerlessness to get an alluring asset owned by a perceived equal.

A neighbor's brand new car triggers envy. Jealousy originates from the prospect of failure and envy from actual failure. These distressing human emotions are sad left overs from an animal past. When you have such feelings, you can overcome envy and jealousy using the mind control tips in this website. But, if you are a victim of jealousy or envy, your options to escape their ill effects are limited.

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  • Envy and jealousy originate from the primeval fight, or flight responses of animals.
  • Your mind has a massive internal wisdom, which has the intuitive capacity to identify danger signals from subtle cues.
  • Envy and jealousy are triggered within your mind before your conscious awareness of those feelings.
  • Jealousy has some beneficial advantages and occurs in several areas of human interactions.
  • Jealousy triggers consistent patterns of behavior.
  • Sibling jealousy needs to handled with love and care, with a distinct goal.
  • Normal marital jealousy happens early in marriage and can be reduced by improving the self esteem of affected partners.
  • Self awareness is the key to curing those affected by violent forms of jealousy. Since such sensitivity is limited to a small segment of the population, the large majority of such cases remain untreated.
  • Envy thrives on a false sense of fairness. An awareness of any viable society's need to compensate people in proportion to their contributions can prevent this mistaken perception.
  • Overcoming envy is possible, when a person comes to terms with his own failures.

Can An Algorithm Be Controlling The Mind?
I am not a physician, but an engineer. Way back in 1989, I listed how the ELIMINATION approach of an AI Program could be uncovering a mystery of the mind.  How could a doctor be instantly identifying Disease X out of 8000 diseases?  How could the doctor's mind isolate a single disease/symptom (D/S link out of trillions of possible links in less than half a second? 

This list of 6 unique new premises could be explaining the enigma and revealing an exciting glimpse into the mind:

First, the total born and learned knowledge available to the doctor could only be existing as the stored/retrieved data within the 100 billion neurons in his brain.

Second, axon hillocks could be storing that knowledge as combinatorial memories. Residing at the head of the axonal output of each neuron is its axon hillock, receiving thousands of inputs from other neurons. Each hillock is known to be making the pivotal neuronal decision about received inputs within 5 milliseconds. The hillock could be opting to fire impulses, if it recalled a combination. If not, it could be opting to inhibit further impulses.  Or, it could be recording new combinations, adding to its memory store.  These choices and recordings were programming axon hillocks to logically store and respond to vast memories, making the mind intelligent.

Third, combinations are known to be providing nature with its most powerful mode of coding. Science has been reporting the neuronal memories provided by combinations for millions of smells. Each axon hillock is capable of processing more combinations than there are stars in the sky. Each new combination stored by an axon hillock could be recording a new set of relationship links remembered by the mind.  The doctor's brain could be storing all the D/S links known to him as combinations in the relevant axon hillocks of his brain.

Fourth, instant global communication is working today as a practical reality. Millions of cells of spreadsheets are instantly reflecting single inputs into cells. The doctor observes a symptom. Within the instant of his observation, the feedback and feed forward links of his brain could be informing all related D/S axon hillocks of the presence of the symptom as a combinatorial transmission.  Only the D/S link of Disease X could be recalling the combination and recognizing the symptom.

Fifth, on not recognizing the symptom, all other disease related D/S hillocks could be instantly inhibiting their impulses. But, the D/S links of Disease X could be continuing to fire. Those firing D/S link would be recalling past complaints, treatments, patients, references and signs of Disease X, thus confirming the diagnosis, in the doctor's mind.  In this manner, rational axon hillocks could be enabling the prescient speed and wisdom of the mind.

Sixth, specific regions of the brain are known to be identifying sensory inputs, recognizing objects and events, triggering emotions and providing motor responses. Axon hillocks of those regions could be rationally responding to inputs and triggering those functions. The axon hillocks of the amygdala could be storing memories of threats during life, or during prehistoric encounters. The sight of a snake could be triggering fear signals from the organ. Those signals could be triggering reflexive flight or freeze responses out of the axon hillocks of the motor regions.

Finally, common sense can calm such reflexive responses through routines for self awareness, as suggested in these pages. Sound judgement
can be toughening the mind by making it patient and by controlling its temper. Grief or guilt will not be shattering experiences; reason can be the tool for conquering fear; for escaping from the well of sudden disappointment; avoiding dissatisfaction with life; avoiding despair over the lack of meaning in life. These urged routines, which provide effective mind control, are now benefiting thousands of people.

W
orldwide interest in this website is acknowledging its rationale. Not metaphysical theories, but pattern recognition and infinite axon hillock memories could be explaining the astonishing speed of human intuition. Several years after 1989, a Nobel Prize began acknowledging combinatorial olfactory codes. Over three decades, this website has been assembling evidence of how neural pattern recognition is powering emotional and physical behaviors. It has been receiving over 2 million page views from over 150 countries.

Overcoming Envy And Jealousy
What Is The Body's Response To Stress?

Nerve signals trigger a pang of jealousy in Joe, when the boss praises his colleague's report. Those signals originate from neural systems with millions of years of evolutionary history. Those systems , enabled animals to survive in a hostile world. They respond within milliseconds of sensing danger. Within the blink of an eye, the animal's body prepares for fight, or flight. Fear, or anger triggers immediate responses. Adrenalin increases. Heart beats increase to improve blood supply. Blood pressure rises and breathing changes. Acidity increases in the stomach. The excretory system prepares to clear toxin. For Joe, the subconscious emotions of anger, or fear are triggered by the intuitive capacity of his nervous system to sense incredibly subtle patterns of danger.

Overcoming Envy And Jealousy
How Deep Is The Wisdom Of The Mind?

How can a few words from the boss, or a glimpse of expensive jewelry trigger painful emotions? Nature stores knowledge on an unimaginable scale within your body. As an example, if the total DNA codes in the human body were written into 500 page books, those tomes will fill the Grand Canyon 50 times over! Joe's brain stores memories of evolutionary experiences from millions of years. It remembers his poor marks in school twenty years ago, or the data he overlooked in his report. A word of praise from Joe's boss to his colleague can bring, within milliseconds, images of his weak report and its imagined, or real career consequences. Within that time span his body begins to respond.

Overcoming Envy And Jealousy 
When Do You Become Aware Of An Emotion?

Joe has no conscious control over the responses of his body. Conscious awareness comes after his mind processes data. The brilliant experiments of Benjamin Libet uncovered the gulf between motor activity and awareness. He studied subjects who voluntarily pressed a button, while noting the position of a dot on a computer screen, which shifted its position every 43 milliseconds. The noted moment of depressing the button was the moment of conscious awareness; the exact instant the subject thought the button was pressed. Each time, Libet had also timed the beginning of motor neuron activity in the brains of his subjects. He discovered that awareness occurred 350 milliseconds AFTER the beginning of motor activity. Overcoming envy, or jealousy is Joe's task after those emotions have already taken control of his mind.

Overcoming Envy And Jealousy
Are There Different Types Of Jealousy?

Jealousy can be both good and bad. Thomas Jefferson believed that it was jealousy, which protected a truly free government and enabled it to prosper. Jealousy is a primary and evolutionary pattern recognition response. Everybody experiences it because of imagined, or real fears. The perennial fear of failure triggers jealousy against perceived rivals in a competitive world. In public life, jealousy increases public vigilance. Romantic jealousy fears abandonment, loss of love, or of being dishonored in a relationship. For valued friendships, jealousy is triggered by the possibility of losing influence or times spent together. Competitive jealousy among siblings constantly causes friction in families. At abnormal levels, extreme insecurity, immaturity, or the tendency to be a “control freak” can trigger morbid, psychotic, pathological, or delusional jealousy.

Overcoming Envy And Jealousy
What Happens When Jealousy Strikes?

Jealousy increases awareness and reduces judgment. There is greater awareness of the competitor's actions. Often innocent actions are assumed to contain ulterior motives. A fair judgment of the competitor becomes difficult. A jealous person takes precautionary measures. Fear of a repetition of previous experiences of failure trigger angry and vindictive attacks. Jealousy increases one's sense of insecurity and reduces feelings of self worth, leading to dejection and depression. Sibling jealousy leads to constant fights in families. Marital jealousy leads to repetitive cycles of violence. A man beats up his wife in a jealous rage. Her pain makes him sorry and he asks for forgiveness. She forgives him and hopes that the gentler phase of their relationship will persist. But, later jealousy attacks again and the cycles of violence continue.

Overcoming Envy And Jealousy
How Can You Cope With Sibling Jealousy?

Normal sibling rivalry in larger families cause constant bickering between children and strain their weary parents. Jealousy is triggered when the fight for a window seat, or when the choice of a place to eat is lost. While parents can try to be fair, one person has to lose in any choice. The more emotional children are likely to respond with anger, or dejection. Parents should spend one on one time with each child. Consider each incident as an opportunity to make the child learn the concept that life is not fair. It always hands out uneven shares of problems and opportunities. Each child also has her own unique talents and weaknesses. Unreasonable anger, or self pity will only weaken them in a competitive world. Childhood experiences should lead to maturity, where they learn to cope with their difficulties, while calmly accepting inequality and occasional failures.

Overcoming Envy And Jealousy
Is Marital Jealousy Normal?

Problems of marital jealousy are common in the early phases of most marriages. Men who have such problems begin with a low sense of self esteem. Locker room stories of infidelity add to their insecurity. Youthful imagination makes them intensely aware of signals of real or imagined infidelity. Uncommon jealousy may cause them to call to "check in," or to monitor telephone and address books. After usually groundless probes, men feel ashamed of their behavior and become even more insecure. Such confrontations can lead to increasing cycles of disharmony. A loving partner can assure the man of his innate worth and help him to accept himself as he is. If the man has a degree of self awareness, he can also get over the problem himself. This website offers mind control tips to people, who are sensitive enough to feel uncomfortable about their pangs of jealousy and would like to free themselves of those instinctive responses.

Overcoming Envy And Jealousy
When Is Marital Jealousy Abnormal?

Some men acquire patterns of violence in managing relationships early in childhood. They believe that anger, or violence can bring about a desired change. Since habitual anger wells up, without their conscious awareness, they sincerely believe their responses to be normal, when faced with their unique set of problems. Eugene Gendlin has assisted such people worldwide, including prison inmates, and psychotic patients in dealing with such problems. He found that his patients actually benefited from therapy, only when they were willing to attribute difficulties to internal causes. To be cured, a man needed a capacity to become self aware.

Unfortunately, since self awareness is possible for only for a small group of sensitive people, violently jealous husbands remain an unsolved problem for society. Some women have the strength of will to respond with self assurance to violence. They can avoid further violence by firmly warning their partner at the outset that violence will immediately end their marriage, or be reported to the police. At the same time, the woman should be vigilant in keeping and maintaining trust and avoid behaviors, which can sow the seeds of suspicion. But, in the vast majority of cases, the victim will be too frightened to take such action. Wherever possible, the victim should speedily seek the assistance of friends, or family to escape from such situations.

Overcoming Envy And Jealousy
How Can You Deal With Pangs Of Jealousy?

Sensitive people feel ashamed of feeling jealous, when the boss speaks kindly to a colleague, or when their partner speaks to a friend. An awareness of that discomfort can help you to change your life! Never underestimate the power of these signals. With its vast wisdom, your mind has identified danger to one of your cherished goals. Your discomfort comes, because your mind has already discovered a subconscious weakness. You don't consciously know what it is. Search your mind for the reasons.

Remember that hostility towards a perceived competitor underlies your own fear that you may not achieve your goal. It is not the competitor's faults, but your own weaknesses, which trigger fears and discomfort within you. The best way to bring out the weakness is to write down a shopping list of all the things, which bother you about this situation. (The method is described in the Self Improvement Plan.) One of the seemingly innocuous things you write could be the pivotal underlying problem behind your discomfort. Think about what action you can take. If this new possibility threatens your cherished goal, think whether you can change your goal, or accept the consequences of failure. When you have a plan to deal with the problem, or have accepted the possibility of failure, you will not be troubled by jealousy.

Overcoming Envy And Jealousy
Is A Demand For Fairness OK?

Envy is founded on the wrong premises. Human beings have a sense of fairness. Parents try to treat their children equally and our political systems emphasizes the equality of all people. This sense that we deserve a fair share of things is at the root of envy. Unfortunately, life is not fair. While everybody would like to have equal opportunities and talents, the distribution of benefits is widely distorted. There will always be others with more talents, wealth, or health.

Nor is fairness a workable social concept. Human achievements were made possible by the brilliant ideas of a few. The person, who invented the wheel alone contributed lifetimes of effort to all of humanity. Society needs to reward those who contribute ideas and management skills. History shows that depriving them leads but to the poverty of the socialist systems. Our own prosperity depends on the recognition and reward of talents and responsibilities. Even if it conflicts with our sense of fairness, we need to reconcile ourselves to the idea that a society can thrive only if it rewards those who contribute more. Once this reality of the world around us seeps in, overcoming envy is easier.

Overcoming Envy And Jealousy
How Much Effort Does It Take To Stop Envy?

Envy is an emotion which refuses to accept failure. It makes you feel pain, so that you will do something about it. Triggered by social comparison, the envy drive follows several paths, each path adding to your pain. Envy focuses on your neighbor, triggering sequential visions of her many successes. Each vision will be compared with your failures, intensifying your torment. Envy then adds the pain of guilt, since it is shameful to feel envy. When you remember that her successes are accompanied by problems, envy says “Aw, just sour grapes!” You feel guilty about the need to find “excuses” for your failures. Envy then adds more pain by reminding you that the feeling itself is a sign of failure. “You are feeling bad, because you failed!” Envy strikes without your conscious awareness. When you feel it, it is already too late! Your mind has begun comparing and the process immediately highlights your failures.

Only self awareness can stop these escalating drives. Identifying the emotion as it is triggered can stop the drive in its tracks. Become aware of your habitual patterns of comparison. Recognize the onset of the “Not fair!” feeling. Most people justify their ill will as a fairness issue. The sense of failure triggers anger, which is redirected as anger towards a cruel fate, or an innocent victim. Looking from the outside on those feelings will help to still the emotion. After all, so far, your best efforts have still led to failure. Such failure has to be acknowledged. Such acceptance can help you to still envy. Self awareness will put your RB in charge. Calmly accepting failure, your RB will make plans for the future. Overcoming envy is a matter of improved self awareness through constant practice!

You must also permanently remove the distress, which habitually brings on the troubling attacks of envy. You need to come to terms with your pain. Evaluate the issues that bother you in this particular case. Do you not have advantages, which the other lacks? Can you do something to win next time? Can you not discover equally satisfying, but achievable goals elsewhere? Can you not cherish the many advantages that you have in life? You will not feel envy, when you have come terms with your pain. Accepting the reality of your own failures will still envy and make you feel a better person. The success of your neighbor will then only inspire you to do better in your own life. Carry on your life by doing your best, without comparing. 

Sadly, your anger due to envy is heightened by much of the media. In the guise of rooting for fairness, they use deceptive adjectives to downgrade admirable  human qualities.  They report "brutish" strength, "dumb" beauty, "obscene" wealth and "heartless" justice. Their objective is to provoke anger and contempt towards the good.  The media process constantly seeks to distort your sense of balance. Become aware of the radical terminology of envy, which seeks to tear down the good. After all, it is strength, beauty, wealth and justice that impart quality to our lives.

This page was last updated on 06-Jun-2018.



Jordan Peterson - Happiness
Can Artificial Intelligence Replace Humans?

JUST THINK...   What happens when you are beginning to talk? Your nervous system is picking an emotion, articulating an idea around it, choosing apt words from a vocabulary of thousands of words, arranging them in lexical and grammatical order and adjusting the pitch of your voice. Before you speak you are having no consciousness of the words you will use. Who is actually taking charge?  This question leads to the question "What is consciousness itself?" Is consciousness a spirit living in a human body?  Is it a life form that emerges from the nervous system?  This is the living hard problem of consciousness. 


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