Consciously identifying anger symptoms can still residual anger. In controlling anger, such identification can follow your success in dealing with the primary causes of your anger. Spend a couple of hours on the Self Improvement Plan (SIP) in this website. The process can enable you to look deep into your mind and quiet your major concerns.
In the Plan, you first list the important causes of your anger. Add a list of things you can do to solve each problem. If finding a solution will take time, list your inability to find an immediate solution. In the end, you will be left with a few problems over which you have no control. It happens to everybody.
All people face a few unsolvable difficulties. Ask yourself if you can live with each such dilemma. This question can turn out to be a life changing experience. It invariably leads to a sudden feeling of acceptance, when your common sense realizes the futility of your anger. “Accept the things you cannot change.” Your mind will then settle down to live with the problem, or to solve it over time. Your hidden anger will be substantially stilled. A few hours spent on SIP can extinguish the major anger issues within you.
But, you seek anger management, because the emotion troubles you. Your nervous system has established circuits over a life time, which incessantly trigger anger over real and imagined issues. Those activated LTP circuits in your amygdala keep you on the edge. The signals generated in the past continue to generate hidden anger, causing you to make irrational decisions.
subdue your residual anger, become aware of the subtle anger
symptoms. Each time one such symptom comes to your conscious
attention, the common sense of your prefrontal regions will take
charge. The cause of your anger will suddenly appear to be
trivial. You will not make decisions, which lack common sense, or
even kindness. The following are some of the symptoms of hidden
anger. If any of them apply to you, let your common sense identify
them and root them out! Gradually, your life will become less stormy
and more enjoyable.
Anger Symptoms – The Irrationality Of
Nature developed emotions to control behavior. The primary objective of anger is to destroy opponents. But, anger is also programmed by nature to amplify its own power to control you. Nature's objective is to make you fight more fiercely. The secondary goal of these emotions is to make you more angry. Anger will choose past behaviors, which triggered your anger. Anger impels you to provoke your opponents so that their increased hostility intensifies your anger.
Or, anger will subtly guide you to fail in your project to intensify your resentment against fate, which “destined” you to failure. Sadly, these are not rational behaviors. Anger will initiate past behaviors, which fueled your resentment. The situation is worse, when your anger gnaws in your subconscious. You will have no awareness that the hidden emotion is driving you irrationally to confrontation or frustration, to reinforce itself.
Anger Symptoms – The Physical Signals
Overpowering anger is usually accompanied by symptoms such as feeling hot and flushed, hairs standing up, becoming hyperactive, a racing heartbeat, sudden tension in your arms, neck or shoulders, or the onset of a headache. While minor irritations may not trigger such symptoms, you may be able to discover a subtle symptom, which accompanies your anger. Each person responds differently to each emotion. Those symptoms will appear a few milliseconds before you realize that you are angry. Identifying the physical symptom is the quickest way of defusing your anger.
Anger Symptoms – A Blinkered Vision
You suddenly see the world as a hostile place, maliciously unfair. Your focus narrows to the problem at hand. Relationships lose their value and you may push aside a friend, who tries to intervene. Your working memory tends to decrease, making you lose sight of the immediate past. Your common sense in the prefrontal regions becomes stilled, blinding your basic judgment.
Anger Symptoms – Profanity
In the jungle, anger provokes a roar. In the civilized world the roar is replaced by a string of profanities. #$#%&@!!! You may be too polite to use four letter words in conversation, but your words will come out faster. You may subconsciously use those words. Or make such comments under your breath. Is the offender a “bitch,” or an “asshole?” If you feel that such words aptly describe your opponent, then you are angry. Identifying such descriptions in your mind can bring in an element of humor to release your tension. Identifying the instinct to use such words can put your common sense in charge, provided you have already brought your pivotal anger under control.
Anger Symptoms – Your Eye Muscles
You may find it difficult to tell people that you do not approve of particular kinds of behavior, but feel strongly about them. The earliest responses to anger signals from the amygdala are facial expressions. Notice a need to avert your eyes from the person you are talking to? Is it difficult to smile at the person? Again recognition of such symptoms will relax your eye muscles. Your anger will dissipate and your common sense will take over. Common sense will prevent you from losing control over other people's faults.
Anger Symptoms – Angry Responses To You
Do you find that people suddenly get angry with you for your comments? Without your realization, you may be talking down to them and patronizing them. Hidden anger can cause you to become blind to the feelings of others. Become sensitive to their views. Try to see the world from their viewpoints. They may not have succeeded as much as you. They may carry the pain of their failures. They may hold strong political views. Spend time trying to understand the viewpoints of the people you interact with. Remember that anger always narrows your vision to your own concerns.
Anger Symptoms – A Temptation To Sow Mischief
Anger may derive satisfaction from other people's problems. Anger will make you break up friendships and pass on comments, which spoil relationships. Since anger desires the mischief, your expressions of regret will be false. Recognize such impulses and nip them in the bud. Just the recognition of the temptation will put your common sense in charge. The misfortunes of others will not appear to be so funny. The Buddhists practice compassion as a viewpoint by imagining the feelings of others. An absence of anger will help you to feel empathy for other's struggles in life. Your responses will be kinder and your life too will become less complicated.
Anger Symptoms – Abuse Of Positions Of Authority
You have already recognized that anger is a problem for you. The emotion blinds your awareness of other viewpoints. You may believe in the strict application of rules, when dealing with family members, or staff, who are dependent on you. Those viewpoints would have been reinforced through long habit. After following SIP, you may be less burdened by anger signals. From a calmer viewpoint, revisit your decisions. Examine your priorities, taking into account the problems faced by your subordinates. An awareness of these can make your decisions kinder, without sacrificing your objectives. You will gain love and respect in your position of authority.
Anger Symptoms – Inviting Punishment
When there is anger in the background, you invite confrontations. You have a colleague, who always criticizes you cruelly. Note whether anger is causing you to blame yourself in front of her, purposely inviting punishment? You may have no awareness that you follow this negative pattern of behavior. An awareness that your colleague's criticism begins from your own remarks can nip your self criticism before it begins. Awareness will still this particular anger trigger. Once the anger leaves, you will not feel the need to apologize needlessly and a more relaxed approach will subdue angry criticism from such people.
Anger Symptoms – Self Punishing Sacrifices
Do you keep sacrificing your needs to be overly helpful to others? Is this accompanied by a long suffering anger about always receiving the wrong end of the stick? Then, you may be subconsciously setting up a negative situation. Of course you do receive tokens of gratitude from the beneficiaries. Such satisfaction may balance your innate feeling of being unfairly treated. But, if such a feeling has a strong grip on your mind, each sacrifice will only fuel your your subconscious anger. Awareness can stop this vicious cycle of sacrifice and anger. Once the anger trigger has been stilled, you will comfortably demand your fair share and be happy with your relationships.
Anger Symptoms –
Fail By Ignoring Common Sense
How often have you failed in your project, knowing deep down that your decisions did not follow your common sense? Did you make senseless mistakes, or knowingly choose unreliable partners? Do you sometimes let problems fester, without taking quick action? Your anger may be setting you up for failure, so that you can feel justified in your sense of hostility towards the world. You may be flailing against a fate, which has made you ineffectual, making you lead projects, which regularly fail.
Your subconscious anger may be setting up this trap. Become aware of any instinct, which troubles your common sense. If you don't feel that a decision is right, know that it is your anger against fate, which is prompting you to err. Just your awareness can still the negative instinct. Success is within your reach, when you become aware of such negative promptings.
Anger Symptoms – Compulsive Perfectionist
Are you a “compulsive ashtray cleaner,” who cannot bear to have anything out of place? Do you demand perfection in everything? Your anger may be subconsciously setting you up to be angry that you, or others do not meet your own exacting standards. Notice the surge of discomfort, when you notice discrepancies in your environment. Observing the signals of your discomfort will still the signals. With practice, you will be able to comfortably accept less perfection in your life.
Anger Symptoms – Existential Anger
Do you feel that you have been unfairly treated by fate? It may be a physical trait, a disability, or sheer economic disadvantage. This anger consumes many. Their own sense of fairness demands that people should have been meted out wealth, talents and abilities with a degree of fairness. Yet the world is massively unjust, with no rhyme or reason perceivable in the distribution process. Siblings discover inequality in their looks and abilities. Entire communities feel disadvantaged. The only answer to this dilemma is to try and live happily with whatever you have. Your resentment will only lead to your own misery and ill health. This website suggests ways to make your own life meaningful under any kind of circumstances.
This page was last updated on 19-Oct-2015
For my peace of mind, I earmarked 20 minutes for meditation on the terrace. With my eyes closed, I sense my hands on the chair and feel the numbness in my feet.
I feel my breath flowing through my nose, my throat, my chest and my stomach. I can hear the chirping of birds, the phut phut of auto rickshaws, the occasional roar of a truck and the insistent hooting of horns.
The wide sky and the treetops come to my attention, when I open my eyes, I see a pale moon over two hundred thousand miles away. I see the nuclear fires, blazing for millions of years in the pale globe of the setting sun. I see a single star millions of miles away in space.
I can see green shoots coming up on a tree, watch the dives and swoops of birds, the great circles of the hawks and flocks of birds flying home for the night.
Diffused light from the sun reflects off a parrot on the tree and enters my eye through a pinhole opening. I sense the bustling mood of the bird, even though it is smaller than a drop of water in my eyes.
All these things are seen and felt by me in a few brief minutes. In the distance, is the head of a man seeming to be no bigger than a pea. Yet, that head too sees and feels such things. Ten million people in this great city see and feel in ten million ways.
My mind wanders to a misty view of postwar London; an exciting glimpse of Disneyland. An awed view of Tiananmen Square. The looming Himalayan ranges. My mind takes me to distant galaxies.
It carries me into the heart of millions of invisible neurons, where electrical charges flash thousands of times a second powering my contemplation. I see the campaigns of Julius Caesar and Alexander. I feel the longings of Jehangir.
Already my mind has taken me to palaces, battlefields and even the stars. If I lost everything, but can just see and feel, in just a few brief minutes, my mind can travel the world, or imagine the cosmos.
While my thoughts wandered far and near, the thought "20 minutes is a long time" also kept floating in. And yet, life has already blessed me with over twenty million waking minutes! I have an infinity of time on my hands. Have I a right to expect more from life?
I really loved the self improvement plan post. Its great food for thought and the steps are actually actionable as compared to many other self help sites out there.
Joe Glen USA.
As a clinical therapist, I have found your site very useful!
I love it. ...
Andrew Montgomery USA.