Consciously identifying anger symptoms can still residual anger. In controlling anger, such identification can follow your success in dealing with the primary causes of your anger. Spend a couple of hours on the Self Improvement Plan (SIP) in this website. The process can enable you to look deep into your mind and quiet your major concerns.
In the Plan, you first list the important causes of your anger. Add a list of things you can do to solve each problem. If finding a solution will take time, list your inability to find an immediate solution. In the end, you will be left with a few problems over which you have no control. It happens to everybody.
All people face a few unsolvable difficulties. Ask yourself if you can live with each such dilemma. This question can turn out to be a life changing experience. It invariably leads to a sudden feeling of acceptance, when your common sense realizes the futility of your anger. “Accept the things you cannot change.” Your mind will then settle down to live with the problem, or to solve it over time. Your hidden anger will be substantially stilled. A few hours spent on SIP can extinguish the major anger issues within you.
But, you seek anger management, because the emotion troubles you. Your nervous system has established circuits over a life time, which incessantly trigger anger over real and imagined issues. Those activated LTP circuits in your amygdala keep you on the edge. The signals generated in the past continue to generate hidden anger, causing you to make irrational decisions.
subdue your residual anger, become aware of the subtle anger
symptoms. Each time one such symptom comes to your conscious
attention, the common sense of your prefrontal regions will take
charge. The cause of your anger will suddenly appear to be
trivial. You will not make decisions, which lack common sense, or
even kindness. The following are some of the symptoms of hidden
anger. If any of them apply to you, let your common sense identify
them and root them out! Gradually, your life will become less stormy
and more enjoyable.
Anger Symptoms –The Irrationality Of
Nature developed emotions to control behavior. The
primary objective of anger is to destroy opponents. But, anger is
also programmed by nature to amplify its own power to control you.
Nature's objective is to make you fight more fiercely. The secondary
goal of these emotions is to make you more angry. Anger will choose
past behaviors, which triggered your anger. Anger impels you to
provoke your opponents so that their increased hostility intensifies
Or, anger will subtly guide you to fail in your project
to intensify your resentment against fate, which “destined” you
to failure. Sadly, these are not rational behaviors. Anger will
initiate past behaviors, which fueled your resentment. The situation
is worse, when your anger gnaws in your subconscious. You will have
no awareness that the hidden emotion is driving you irrationally to
confrontation or frustration, to reinforce itself.
Symptoms –The Physical Signals
Overpowering anger is
usually accompanied by symptoms such as feeling hot and flushed,
hairs standing up, becoming hyperactive, a racing heartbeat, sudden
tension in your arms, neck or shoulders, or the onset of a headache.
While minor irritations may not trigger such symptoms, you may be
able to discover a subtle symptom, which accompanies your anger.
Each person responds differently to each emotion. Those symptoms
will appear a few milliseconds before you realize that you are angry.
Identifying the physical symptom is the quickest way of defusing
Anger Symptoms –A Blinkered Vision
suddenly see the world as a hostile place, maliciously unfair. Your
focus narrows to the problem at hand. Relationships lose their value
and you may push aside a friend, who tries to intervene. Your
working memory tends to decrease, making you lose sight of the
immediate past. Your common sense in the prefrontal regions becomes
stilled, blinding your basic judgment.
Anger Symptoms –
In the jungle, anger provokes a roar. In the
civilized world the roar is replaced by a string of profanities.
#$#%&@!!! You may be too polite to use four letter words in
conversation, but your words will come out faster. You may
subconsciously use those words. Or make such comments under your
breath. Is the offender a “bitch,” or an “asshole?” If you
feel that such words aptly describe your opponent, then you are
angry. Identifying such descriptions in your mind can bring in an
element of humor to release your tension. Identifying the instinct
to use such words can put your common sense in charge, provided
you have already brought your pivotal anger under control.
Symptoms –Your Eye Muscles
You may find it difficult to
tell people that you do not approve of particular kinds of behavior,
but feel strongly about them. The earliest responses to anger
signals from the amygdala are facial expressions. Notice a need to
avert your eyes from the person you are talking to? Is it difficult
to smile at the person? Again recognition of such symptoms will
relax your eye muscles. Your anger will dissipate and your common
sense will take over. Common sense will prevent you from losing
control over other people's faults.
Anger Symptoms –
Angry Responses To You
Do you find that people
suddenly get angry with you for your comments? Without your
realization, you may be talking down to them and patronizing them.
Hidden anger can cause you to become blind to the feelings of
others. Become sensitive to their views. Try to see the world from
their viewpoints. They may not have succeeded as much as you. They
may carry the pain of their failures. They may hold strong political
views. Spend time trying to understand the viewpoints of the people
you interact with. Remember that anger always narrows your vision to
your own concerns.
Anger Symptoms –A Temptation To Sow
Anger may derive satisfaction from other people's
problems. Anger will make you break up friendships and pass on
comments, which spoil relationships. Since anger desires the
mischief, your expressions of regret will be false. Recognize such
impulses and nip them in the bud. Just the recognition of the
temptation will put your common sense in charge. The misfortunes of
others will not appear to be so funny. The Buddhists practice
compassion as a viewpoint by imagining the feelings of others. An
absence of anger will help you to feel empathy for other's struggles
in life. Your responses will be kinder and your life too will become
Anger Symptoms –Abuse Of Positions Of
You have already recognized that anger is a problem
for you. The emotion blinds your awareness of other viewpoints.
You may believe in the strict application of rules, when dealing with
family members, or staff, who are dependent on you. Those viewpoints
would have been reinforced through long habit. After following SIP,
you may be less burdened by anger signals. From a calmer viewpoint,
revisit your decisions. Examine your priorities, taking into account
the problems faced by your subordinates. An awareness of these can
make your decisions kinder, without sacrificing your objectives. You
will gain love and respect in your position of authority.
Symptoms –Inviting Punishment
When there is anger in the
background, you invite confrontations. You have a colleague, who
always criticizes you cruelly. Note whether anger is causing you to
blame yourself in front of her, purposely inviting punishment? You
may have no awareness that you follow this negative pattern of
behavior. An awareness that your colleague's criticism begins from
your own remarks can nip your self criticism before it begins.
Awareness will still this particular anger trigger. Once the anger
leaves, you will not feel the need to apologize needlessly and a more
relaxed approach will subdue angry criticism from such people.
Symptoms –Self Punishing Sacrifices
Do you keep sacrificing
your needs to be overly helpful to others? Is this accompanied by a
long suffering anger about always receiving the wrong end of the stick? Then, you
may be subconsciously setting up a negative situation. Of course you
do receive tokens of gratitude from the beneficiaries. Such
satisfaction may balance your innate feeling of being unfairly
treated. But, if such a feeling has a strong grip on your mind, each
sacrifice will only fuel your your subconscious anger. Awareness can
stop this vicious cycle of sacrifice and anger. Once the anger
trigger has been stilled, you will comfortably demand your fair share
and be happy with your relationships.
Anger Symptoms –
Fail By Ignoring Common Sense
How often have you failed in
your project, knowing deep down that your decisions did not follow
your common sense? Did you make senseless mistakes, or knowingly
choose unreliable partners? Do you sometimes let problems fester,
without taking quick action? Your anger may be setting you up for
failure, so that you can feel justified in your sense of hostility
towards the world. You may be flailing against a fate, which has
made you ineffectual, making you lead projects, which regularly fail.
Your subconscious anger may be setting up this trap. Become aware
of any instinct, which troubles your common sense. If you don't feel
that a decision is right, know that it is your anger against fate,
which is prompting you to err. Just your awareness can still the
negative instinct. Success is within your reach, when you become
aware of such negative promptings.
Anger Symptoms –
Are you a “compulsive ashtray
cleaner,” who cannot bear to have anything out of place? Do you
demand perfection in everything? Your anger may be subconsciously
setting you up to be angry that you, or others do not meet your own
exacting standards. Notice the surge of discomfort, when you notice
discrepancies in your environment. Observing the signals of your
discomfort will still the signals. With practice, you will be able
to comfortably accept less perfection in your life.
Symptoms –Existential Anger
Do you feel that you have been
unfairly treated by fate? It may be a physical trait, a disability,
or sheer economic disadvantage. This anger consumes many. Their own
sense of fairness demands that people should have been meted out
wealth, talents and abilities with a degree of fairness. Yet the
world is massively unjust, with no rhyme or reason perceivable in the
distribution process. Siblings discover inequality in their looks
and abilities. Entire communities feel disadvantaged. The only
answer to this dilemma is to try and live happily with whatever you
have. Your resentment will only lead to your own misery and ill
health. This website suggests ways to make your own life meaningful
under any kind of circumstances.
This page was last updated on 19-Oct-2015.