Forgetting what could have been

by Luce

Hello, I thought I'd share one of my concerns on here. Its about girls and specifically getting over them. I know it sounds petty, but one thing i cant seem to control is this 'what if' that i suspect is behind all the stomach churning i get whenever i think of her.

I can think logically how its not useful and i can explain it all to myself, but somehow i still get this reaction in my stomach whenever the image of her with some other guy so much as flickers in my head. I hate feeling so weak, epsecially when i get reasonable success with other emotions.

Luce,

You can learn to eliminate "what if" thoughts. To do this, you have to become aware of such thoughts at just the moment they arise in your mind. This takes a little practice.

This is the process of developing self awareness. It is the practice of catching troubling thoughts as and when they arise. When you learn to do that, you can still annoying thoughts at will and enjoy greater peace of mind.

In the meanwhile, emotional storms take time to calm down. Time heals all wounds. Accept the idea of having some turmoil in your mind for some time. Your mind will grow stronger with this experience.
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NEED MORE?

For my peace of mind, I earmarked 20 minutes for meditation on the terrace. With my eyes closed, I sense my hands on the chair and feel the numbness in my feet.

I feel my breath flowing through my nose, my throat, my chest and my stomach. I can hear the chirping of birds, the phut phut of auto rickshaws, the occasional roar of a truck and the insistent hooting of horns.

When I open my eyes, I see a pale moon over two hundred thousand miles away. I see the nuclear fires, blazing for millions of years in the pale globe of the setting sun. A star millions of miles away in space.

I can see green shoots coming up on a tree, watch the dives and swoops of birds, the great circles of the hawks and flocks of birds flying home for the night.

Diffused light from the sun reflects off a parrot on the tree and enters my eye through a pinhole opening. I sense the bustling mood of the bird, even though it is smaller than a drop of water in my eyes.

All these things are seen and felt by me in a few brief minutes. In the distance, is the head of a man seeming to be no bigger than a pea. Yet, that head too sees and feels such things. Ten million people in this great city see and feel in ten million ways.

My mind wanders to a misty view of postwar London; an exciting glimpse of Disneyland. An awed view of Tiananmen Square. The looming Himalayan ranges. My mind takes me to distant galaxies.

It carries me into the heart of millions of invisible neurons, where electrical charges flash thousands of times a second powering my contemplation. I see the campaigns of Julius Caesar and Alexander. I feel the longings of Jehangir.

Already my mind has taken me to palaces, battlefields and even the stars. And yet, the 20 minutes hang heavily on me. If I lost everything, but can just see and feel, in just a few brief minutes, my mind can travel the world, or imagine the cosmos.

Life has already blessed me with over twenty million waking minutes. I have an infinity of time on my hands. Have I a right to expect more from life?

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